my failed S24O

got me a brand new lightweight sleeping pad today, all ready for tonight's adventure.  i was gonna do a sub 24 hour overnight trip, where i bike out to a spot, camp overnight, wake up, and bike back home.  all the cool kids are doing it, i figured i should too, even though i'm about as cool as a blacksmith's furnace.

i packed my bag with the bare essentials, made sure the bike was good, and i was ready to go.

all i had to do was bike about nine miles, mostly road, get to the spot i previously reconnoitered,  and sleep under the stars.  i would wake up tomorrow, bike back into town, and it would have been glorious.

nature gave me a big fat NOPE.  i pedaled out, it was a bit windy, the sky looked threatening, but not too bad.  as i got closer to my destination, the wind picked up and the sky looked worse.  i couldn't really tell if it was raining where i was going (it wasn't supposed to rain) or if was just dust and dirt being kicked up.

flags i passed were straight out.  at one point, i had to fight to keep my bicycle upright, much less going forward.  the wind all but stopped me in my tracks, nature putting it's invisible hand against my chest, with a "you shall not pass" whispering in my ear.

i am not a smart man, but i can eventually take a hint, and i have nothing to prove.  i have spent many days and nights doing various sufferfest things.  sometimes i feel like Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon.  I'm getting too old for this shit.

i turned around, pedaled home, and my cool overnight adventure amounted to a 45 minute road ride on a full suspension bike with a backpack on.

i can't go tomorrow cause i have to work on saturday.  so it will have to wait for another day.

hopefully soon.

until then....fuck you nature.  i don't know why you gotta be like that.

moments of zen

after a night of beer and cookies (and wine and other stuff) i woke up this morning slightly less energetic than i needed to be.  no matter, bacon and eggs fix a lot of things.

i had planned on getting on the trail by 7:30 am.  i had planned on 35 miles, about six hours of riding.  everyone knows about "the best laid plans of mice and men."  there wasn't any grief, but there was a bit of pain.  also, i was a superhero to three people.  i saved lives today.

on the trail by 8:45.  the first bit, which usually takes me about three hours, only took me about two, two and a half.   i started wondering if this is what being fit feels like.  you can ride, and you aren't tired at the spots you usually are.  you have strength and energy, and it wasn't a lot of effort.   perhaps i was just too hungover to notice.  the weather was cooperating fully with me.  it was cool, almost cold, it started to get windy, but the wind was just there to cool me down,it wasn't nature's bully there to push me around and hinder forward momentum.   at one point i was wondering if it was a dream, i was riding so well.  the "worst climb in the universe" wasn't all that bad, and the descent to the halfway point was excellent.  i was feeling great.

here's the thing.  throughout the day, i had these....moments of zen.  i tried to, at least.  i wasn't thinking, there was no "me" and no "bike" and no "trail."  there was mebiketrail.  i cannot say it was exciting, or happy, or anything.  it just....was.  in retrospect, it was cool and awesome, but at the time, in the moment, it just.....was.
at the halfway point i refilled my water, drank some coconut water, and had a bit or two, not a whole thing, of Cliff Bar.

then came the most difficult trail on the list.  it is arduous, onerous, strenuous, and almost prohibitive.  i've done it a few times, more than a few times really, but i usually start with it, or just do it alone.  i have never ridden it after about two and a half hours of already riding somewhat technical trail.

i have to say, it was a pleasant hike with my bicycle.  the problem is, my legs started to cramp.  this got me thinking, i'm usually ok, and then, following the "eat before you are hungry" rule, i eat something, and then i start to bonk.  what the ever living fuck is that about???  i was pissed at myself for eating two goddamn bites of a Cliff Bar.  i didn't want it, but i ate it, and then my legs started getting weird.  

the weather was still in full cooperation, i pedaled, walked, pedaled, walked, pedaled until i was done with the trail, i decided to cut the ride short and skip at least one, maybe both of the final two trails that would complete the whole ride.  i just had to ride a few more miles back to the car.  my legs felt like they were about done.

i pedaled easy and argued with myself if i should do the last trail or just go to my car.  about 100 yards before the final decision to ride trail or head back to the car (both actually being about the same distance) i met an older couple.  they were walking some moderately techy parts.  they were on hardtails.   they told me they were going to go back on the trail i had just done.  i told them no, that was not for them, and suggested the final trail that i was going to do.   they don't know it, but i saved their life.

had they taken the trail they wanted, they would have finished, at best, with a huge fight and possible divorce, and at worst, it would have been a survival/rescue mission.  they were in no way equipped, either with gear, skills, or fitness, to do what they had planned.  they were cool about it too and i hope they had a great time.  two people rescued.

then at the decision point, i met a lady with a flat, we tried to fix it, no dice.  i told her my car was just over yonder, i would take her to her truck at the main parking lot.  since i would have had to wait for her, i just rode the last trail, it was great, i was super proud of myself.  i got to the car and helped the lady she was my third rescue of the day.

at the end of the day, i rode (and walked) about 25 miles, in about four and a half hours.   the really neat thing about it all was, if i hadn't decided to cut it short when i did and head back, there would be two possibly dead people on the top of a mountain, and a lady would have had a shitty walk back to her car.

it all worked out, and i had a kick ass day.

then i came home, took a shower, and collapsed into a pleasant coma.  great day overall.

i love bicycles.  they make great things happen.

adventure!!!

we knew the trail existed, we just didn't know where it was.  there is nothing online, nothing on google maps, it's all word of mouth, sort of like that island in The Beach by Alex Garland, later turned into a pretty good movie with Leo Dicaprio.

"hey, let's go ride tomorrow" i said to my friend Mr. James.  he was leery, having gone on "adventure" rides with me, searching for trails that were supposed to be kick ass and often were just a horrible slogfest.  I couldn't blame him.  then another friend showed him pictures and Mr. James was all in like a poker player with an ace high straight flush.   we just had to find it.

overall it went ok.  two wrong turns, only a little bit of extra driving, then we found the road, some markings, and what we believed was a trail.  did some quick foot recon, and yes indeed it was a trail.  boy howdy.

we hopped on the bikes and took off, not really sure where we were going, or for how long.  People ride bikes for all sorts of different reasons.  to me, in my opinion, the least noble of the reasons to ride a bike is Fitness.  if you want fitness, go to a gym, run, lift weights.  sure you can include cycling, but at least make it road riding.  guys who mountain bike for fitness have no soul and usually are kind of assholes.  they don't have skills or techniques, they don't want to explore or have fun, all they care about is a workout.  fuck that. why would you take something fun and playful and ruin it like that?

we were in it for the fun and exploration.  sure, fitness is a great byproduct, but it's not the main goal.

the trail was strange, different, odd.  it was flowy in a weird sort of way, short punchy ups, odd rocky bits, lots of pedaling.  it was slow, not overly techy, but you were up and moving a lot.  the views were fuckin incredible.  it was crazy that we have that so damn close to home.

we came out of the trail, then had to get back.  we did some bushwhacking and hiking, but we soon found the trail and headed in what we thought was the right direction, and lo, about 45 minutes later, we were back at the car.   we were both tired, even though it didn't feel like we rode far.  it was hot, we did cover some distance.  it was fun.

we found the trail, it was totally worth it, we will someday go back and explore some more.

another great day on a bike.  thank you bike for showing me cool places and giving me such enjoyment.

Velocifer, perhaps a new American God?

went for a pretty great ride last night, the weather was absolutely perfect, and, for some reason (i am in no way complaining) my legs were strong, i rode like a fucking lion last night.   along the way i started thinking of the God of Cycling.

I recently finished Neil Gaiman's American Gods and it was a fantastic book, i loved it and wished there were more like it.  I had read Douglas Adams' long dark teatime of the soul about Odin and the old gods that people stopped believing in, and that is where i got the tip about American Gods, which is quite similar in some ways.    the book talks about how the old gods were brought over to america and now, since no one believes in them, they just sort of wander around.  gods apparently are brought into existence through belief, and if you believe in something strong enough, it manifests, it takes hold, it becomes real.   it is such a well written and interesting story, it has lots of little things that make you think about the world around you and look at the world in a different way.  i like when a book does that.  i really really would recommend this book to most people, not all, it's not for everyone, but most, especially anyone with an open mind.   there is a great scene in the book where Odin talks to a waitress, she tells him she is Pagan, he asks who she worships, and how, and she spouts out dumb tripe which means nothing, and i can picture it in my head.  lots of good stuff in that book.

so, last night, pedaling up a hill and feeling rather good about it, i thought about the god of cycling, if there is one, or should i create one?  the name that came first to me was Velocifer.   this morning i googled it, the name is around, but doesn't seem to be a god of cycling at all.  so there is that...

i thought about how i would manifest this god, or, what would make this god grant favor on me, give me strong legs, keep me safe, etc?  of course a sacrifice is expected, and the obvious sacrifice would be blood, followed by beer, or alcohol, and then, just to make it specific, perhaps chain lube.

Blood is easy, i usually leave a bit here and there on the rocks.   the alcohol? no worries, tipping a bit out, not for my lost homies, but for my new god, is pretty easy.  and chain lube? same thing.

how would i go about worshiping this new god?   i do it almost every damn day, every time my legs are pushing pedals.  for all i know, between the spilled beer and blood i've left behind, he already exists.

and if he does exist, he seemed mighty pleased last night.  and i give him thanks.  

mountain biking far from the edge

Last night I watched the documentary  Dogtown and Z-Boys, about the birth of skateboarding as we know it today.  I have also watched Bones Brigade: An Autobiography.  Both of those movies showed the passion, the attitude, and the altheltecism combined with art, all the things that make skateboarding more than just riding a skateboard, and both of those movies struck me and inspired me, and got me thinking about the current state of mountain biking.
Perhaps  mountain biking was never about attitude, perhaps it was all just a bunch of hippies riding bikes in the mountains to get high among pretty flowers, but then i think of the movie Kranked and others like it, i think if Brett Tippie, Wade Simmons, and Richie Schley pretty much inventing free riding, and i think of the attitude, and i wonder what the fuck happened?
Mountain biking has seemed, to me, to have lost it's edge.  It's gone from the exploration and a bunch of guys riding bikes and getting rowdy and having fun to a bunch of roadies on dirt, making sure the trails are smooth so their STRAVA times are good, they are strong but have no skills, they can get up the mountain but don't like coming down the mountain.
It feels like mountain biking has lost it's edge, and it's balls.  There is still Crankworkx and people like Kerry McGarry doing ridiculous backflips over huge gaps, and i'm thankful for that, but mountain biking feels like it's losing it's soul.
We need a group of guys to inject some life and spirit into mountain biking, we need a mountain biking version of the Bones Brigade, guys (and gals) who just want to party, get rowdy, and express themselves artistically and soulfully and aggressively by riding their bikes with style.
I don't even know if it's possible, perhaps i'm the only one who thinks like this, and i doubt it will ever happen, i don't expect it to.
I just don't want to see the freewheeling cool spirit of mountain biking (assuming there was one in the first place) to get killed off by lycra and heart rate monitors.